is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
