we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Randomize