I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
