hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize