you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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