Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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