i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
