My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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