i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
