Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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