whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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