Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
her facebook's as public as her vagina
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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