i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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