So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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