How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
