Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
