We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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