Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize