Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
