my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
