I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
