just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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