We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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