i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
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