all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I take back everything I said about communal showers
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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