You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
