you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
