Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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