Taylor Swift is so right about you.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
