I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
