I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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