I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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