Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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