Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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