We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
