I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
