I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Randomize
