Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
