i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Drake has all the answers
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
