just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
