I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
