You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
