I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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