The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
