just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
