Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i just google imaged poop.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize