If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
