i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
