I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
They have beer where we have blood.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
