Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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