Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
