Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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