It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Boobs are out for the taking
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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