You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize