Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
