Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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