I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
