So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize