god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
