you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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