i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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