Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
