how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
