hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize