so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
