paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
