I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
