How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
