"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I think I sprained my soul last night
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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