Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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