Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
