I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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