she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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