Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize