That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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