It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
