i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize