she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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