If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Randomize
