very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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